Men’s room review – Coffee Zone

I should clarify: It’s not that I haven’t been friends with any men since I moved to Missouri. I just haven’t seen them much lately.

Let’s get down to business, though.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I never have to go to the bathroom. But it would be socially unacceptable if I never even entered a bathroom; people would think I had reached a next stage of evolution without them, and they’d feel left out. So I’m always looking for new things to do in public restrooms. You can only do so many jumping jacks, and some restrooms don’t even have the space to accommodate jumping jacks.

Thus, I give you what promises to be the first of many reviews of the restrooms I have encountered in my life. The above pictures are from Coffee Zone, a coffeehouse in Columbia, Missouri. They serve delicious omelets, and if you ask nicely and pay them a couple of extra dollars they’ll throw in feta cheese, olives, onions,and something else I can’t think of.

My primary critique of this men’s room is that it is, as you can plainly see, boring. There is no decoration, unless you take a sink to be decorative, which I have a hard time doing with this one. I am not impressed with the trashcan. Even the drain is ugly. The mirror, which is not pictured, provides the only aesthetically pleasing sight available to the visitor to this restroom, and even that is an unreliable benefit, because some of the customers there are ugly, and I’d rather look at the drain than see what they see in the Coffee Zone mirror.

There is no interesting graffiti, and the toilet paper is nondescript.

To be perfectly honest, there is almost nothing to say about this restroom, except to offer it as a starting point for what should be a series of men’s room reviews.  The Coffee Zone restroom is dull, yes, but it should be a point of departure for us.  We will move on to more worthwhile climes and toilets.  Things can only improve after this disappointment.